Monday, April 19, 2010

When To Share Your Opinion

Dear Jocelyn,
My sister is planning a career move that I feel is a very bad idea for many reasons. I'm concerned this will negatively affect her finances, marriage, and safety (it requires her to be in a dangerous part of town late at night). Should I say something? This seems to be just another bad decision in a long line of bad decisions we have warned her about. What is the best way to tell her this is a bad idea?
-Tired of being worried

Dear Tired,
While I can understand your concern, you should think about what good (or bad) can come of telling her what you think. If she has listened to you before, I recommend telling her in a tactful way that this seems dangerous. However, you say that this is another bad decision in a long line of decisions you have warned her about. I suspect that she hasn't listened to you about those decisions, otherwise you wouldn't be writing to me. If that is true, then this is a decision you must let her make. She is a married adult, and this is something that she and her husband must decide. This is hard to do, but you are not in a position to tell her what to do in her career. Since you're concerned about her safety, perhaps you can give her a can of mace as a congratulations on her career move.

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