Thursday, September 8, 2011

Why Was My Boyfriend Not Invited?

Dear Jocelyn, 
My dear girlfriend is getting married in England and I live in LA. She asked me to be the maid of honor, the only person standing up for her, and she is not inviting my boyfriend of 13 months, who lives with me in LA. Is this crazy? I have to travel across the world to be by her side and I can't have the man I love to be with me? 
-Bridesmaid in Britain 

Dear Bridesmaid, 
Without knowing the circumstances behind her decision, I would have to say yes, it does seem strange to not invite a long term boyfriend of a close friend. (I am assuming you have actually asked her if he could come, and she said no. If you have not asked her directly, do so!) 

However, I would encourage you to not let that come between you and your friend. There are some benefits to not having your boyfriend there that perhaps you haven't thought of. For example, you will be busy with maid of honor duties while there, and now you don't have to worry about entertaining your boyfriend while also being wrapped up with manicures, bachelorette parties, etc. You can turn your focus solely to your close friend - after all, this is one of the biggest days of her life! 

Even though this upsets you, try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and forget about it. This is one day, and it will soon be history. And remember, if the prospect of going for a weekend (or longer) without seeing your boyfriend is upsetting, he can always fly to England with you and just not attend the wedding! He is not barred from the country because he is not invited to a wedding there. 
-Jocelyn