Friday, October 7, 2011

Should I Be a Single Mother?

Dear Jocelyn,
I’m curious what you think of a single person adopting a child by themselves. I am in my mid-late thirties and have never been married, but would really love to have children. While I would love to provide a child with a home with two parents, I feel like one loving parent would be better than an orphanage or continuous foster care. I’m open to either local or international adoption. Do you think I would be allowed to adopt as a single person, and would you recommend it for the wellbeing of the child?
-Hopeful Mother

Dear Hopeful,
Whenever I attempt to answer a question like this, I always ask myself, "What is the best thing for the child?" I am wholeheartedly opposed to single women becoming pregnant intentionally and raising children by themselves. I believe that purposefully bringing up a child without a father is a foolish thing to do.   

This being said, I think adopting a child, especially from another country, is a different matter. In this case, the child is already in this world, and is without any parent. Children from certain countries are deprived not only of parents, but love, food, and proper medical care. In this case, I believe that having even just one loving parent is much better than the child's current condition. I think if you decide to adopt, you will be blessing a child and doing him a great deal of good.   If you do decide to adopt, please research the matter extensively before doing so.  To answer your first question, yes, single women are allowed to adopt--I actually know a woman who adopted internationally.  

Adopting and raising a child is hard enough, but as a single woman, you will be doing this without the same support that a married couple will have. Try to find a single woman who has adopted so you can interview her. Contact an adoption agency and set up an interview to ask them questions. Raising a child is incredibly hard work. If you decide to adopt, please realize that it will be the hardest thing you have ever done; however, it will certainly be the most rewarding.

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