Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Can I Be a Cousin's Ex's Bridesmaid?

Dear Jocelyn,
I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my cousin's ex-girlfriend's wedding. She remained good friends with me, my sister and mom. I accepted. Now my cousin is upset. Was is proper to say yes?
-Still Friends

Dear Friends,
In a word, yes. Your cousin probably feels like it is disloyal for you to remain friends with his ex-girlfriend, but it is not reasonable for him to expect that everyone will cut ties just because he did. Your cousin is hurting a bit right now, so next time you talk to him gently, but assertively, tell him that you understand things ended badly between him and his ex, but you are still friends with her. You don't have to talk about the wedding or being a bridesmaid with him, but you do not need to hide it either.
-Jocelyn